Even A Hurricane

Sometimes battling an addiction is an unpleasant surprise to everyone who knows the addict, including the addict themselves. Twenty-seven-year-old Vanessa was met with this unpleasant surprise.

So many things had gone right for Vanessa. Her upbringing would have been the envy of many. She was raised in a Christian home by missionary parents in Costa Rica.  When the family came back to the United States, Vanessa and her siblings were able to attend Christian school. Vanessa was taught that God loved her, and deeply desired a relationship with her.

But Vanessa struggled with self-hate. She couldn’t believe that Jesus really loved her, or that He could fill her longing for relationship. Instead of having the Lord fulfill her needs, Vanessa turned to men, alcohol, and pornography. Though God was knocking at the door of her heart, she kept it under lock and key.

Additionally, Vanessa had very few friends she could talk to. Even at home Vanessa struggled to be transparent and let people know what was going on in her heart. Part of the problem was being the youngest child, and feeling as if she wasn’t taken seriously. According to Vanessa, “They didn’t know how to handle emotions appropriately, so I didn’t share with them.” Regarding her addictions, she said, “A lot of it was just me covering up my emotions.” For Vanessa, finding meaningful relationships seemed impossible. As Vanessa continued to pull away, she fell into an abusive relationship, lasting eighteen months. But God had not forgotten Vanessa, nor had He stopped loving her.

“They spoke truth to me, walked with me, fought for me, loved me through and through, challenged me, prayed for me, and they would not let me give up.”

Vanessa and Claudia, a Servant Leader, smiling for a picture during her time as a Resident.

While living in Myrtle Beach with the man, she decided to end the relationship and move back to her family in Georgia. Recognizing she needed help, she reached out to His Mansion, and began filling out paperwork to attend the program. God was at work in Vanessa’s heart.

But something still wasn’t right. As time grew near for her to go to His Mansion, she had second thoughts. Unfortunately, she returned to the abusive relationship with her ex-boyfriend. Returning to Myrtle Beach, Vanessa was glad she wasn’t at His Mansion. But her joy didn’t last long. As God does so well, He continued to reach out to Vanessa, using a storm to pull her out of the life of chaos.

The storm was called Hurricane Florence, and it was traveling quickly up the East Coast. Right after she arrived in Myrtle Beach, Vanessa and her boyfriend were told to evacuate the area, leaving everything behind. In the midst of the hurricane, the stormy relationship she once had with her boyfriend returned. It was finally time to leave for good.

With no place to go, and no ties to home or family, Vanessa called a friend who encouraged her to go to His Mansion. Soon, a family member picked her up and in a matter of days she was on her way to New Hampshire.

At this point, it would be wonderful to hear that everything worked out well for Vanessa; that she felt right at home. But the truth is that she struggled in her first days at His Mansion. She once again found it difficult to confide in people. Because she was unwilling to participate, Vanessa was told she would have to repeat the first phase of the program. Heartbroken, she was ready to quit and return home. However, with encouragement from her mentor, Vanessa persevered.

This time, Vanessa worked through her issues, and was committed to healing her past. She says “What kept me strong for sixteen months was all of thee, Vanessa worked through her issues, and was committed to healing her past. She says “What kept me strong for sixteen months was all of the relationships God had placed in my life.” Her relationship with the Lord—something Vanessa avoided for years—was ultimately what healed the longing in her heart.

Vanessa and her parents celebrating her graduation from the Resident Program.

The relationships Vanessa nurtured helped her overcome her past. She continues, “They spoke truth to me, walked with me, fought for me, loved me through and through, challenged me, prayed for me, and they would not let me give up. I’m so grateful for all the accountability that was provided.” What Vanessa experienced was the love of God and people, not the fear and condemnation she expected to receive.

Her relationship with God isn’t the only one that was healed. Vanessa was also to heal the relationship with her family. She says, “Now they let me talk and share, and they listen. It’s been very healing for me.” Through her recovery, God helped Vanessa find love and trust both with Himself and her family. With a softened heart, she could see how the deception of men, alcohol, and pornography had blinded her to the love of Jesus.

Vanessa is currently serving as a girls’ small group leader at a summer camp. When she returns to college, she will continue working toward a two-year certificate in Bible and Ministry. She continues to share the healing power of Jesus with other young women, and says, “I have learned during my time there [His Mansion], that God created me in His image, that He sees me as a special treasure who is valuable, and no longer a slave to fear, but a child of God.”